Saturday, June 16, 2012

Life Thus Far

Welcome to my blog-I am so excited to start this, though I should warn you this is partly for selfish reasons. I am hoping this will become some sort of outlet for me. As you get to know me, you will understand why. My name is Tiffany, and I am from Huntersville NC. It's just out side of Charlotte. I was born in Akron Ohio in 1985. Yes, I know I am young though I don't feel as young as I am. I moved to Charlotte NC when I was 11 years old with my mom, dad and sister. Due to the schools in the area my parents thought it would be best if I was home-schooled. It was a very isolating experience having just moved here. With in time my parents found a church that was starting a school, and that next fall I started. I meet friends and started to come out of my shell. I had always been a very animated child, and loved being the center of action. Even now that hasn't changed-haha! At the end of that school year we moved a little north of Charlotte and my parents found another small private school. This school was also apart of church, so I fit right in. It soon became my whole world. As I am told all good things come to an end and after some rumors and broken heart I left. It was a very dark time in my life, in fact 10 years later I find still hard to let go. The next school year my mother became sick and my father worked in Charleston SC. It became my job to nurse my mother back to health. I home-schooled myself and found I had enough credits to graduate early, so I did so. Soon after graduation I started going to a small Community College. This my friends is where the sweet little red head started to change. lol 

I can honestly say I really was a good child. Well, up until I turned 18. I had always been very involved person in church, and now I wasn't. I was trying to think of another way to put it, but there is really no other way. I had had my fill of the bible thumpers and wanted to see what all the hellions had to offer. Never really was in to drugs and I kept my legs closed till I was 18. But damn did the freedom feel good. During my new found freedom we had a family tragedy that broke my heart. I stopped going to school and started working in a daycare full time. What I was thinking I have no idea. I have always loved kids and I think I am pretty good with them, but why couldn't I have become a bartender or something. At any rate I meet my husband through a co-worker and with-in 2 weeks I moved in and after another 3 or 4 months I was pregnant. Thats right!! One classy girl I tell ya! Now that I look back on it all I was in a daze. Just going about the motions. When our son was 2 we got married. Biggest mistake I have ever made. And trust me, I have made some big ones.

My "husband" I found out, has had a 2 year long affaire, lost his job started messing with drugs here and there. To top it off, moved in and had a relationship with a 16 year old! Thats right, you didn't misread that, a 16 year old. I got a lawyer, did what I could which wasn't to much and tried to move on. My heart was broken into way to many pieces. About 8 months later I had a small stroke at work. My "husband" moved back in to help with bills, and I quit my job. Believe it or not working with children is very stressful! I thought well, he can help me go back to school. I put him through school, so he can help me now. Though he still loves me and has "left" all his messes behind, I am not the type of person to forgive and just let go. Living with someone who has hurt you so badly, not to mention what all this has done to our son, is just to hard. I am trying to find my way letting go to God, trying to build my strength up. Easier said then done right?

So this is it. This is my journey to finding my self and building a life for my son and I. I know I have some self worth in there somewhere. And I know one day, I will find someone to love me and my son.


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